The Power of Intent: Why It Matters in Giving Feedback?

Giving feedback is an essential part of any workplace, relationship, or learning process. However, the intention behind the feedback can dramatically impact its effectiveness. When feedback is given with a positive, caring intention, it becomes a tool for growth, connection, and improvement. Whether you are providing guidance to a colleague, a team member, or even a friend, the purpose of feedback should always be to support and encourage, rather than criticize or punish. While approaching feedback, our minds has to be focused on care, constructive growth, and building stronger relationships. By ensuring our intention is positive, we foster a culture of mutual respect.

why do we need a clear intention in feedback? 

Effective communication, especially when giving feedback, is powered by the clarity of our intention. Just like a strong phone signal is essential for clear conversation, the intention behind our feedback says how well it resonates with others. Many times, people assume they are communicating to connect and understand one another, but they might actually be doing so with different motives, such as:

• asserting their own views,
• educating or instructing,
• assigning blame,
• proving they are right.

While these motives aren't inherently wrong, they can hinder true connection, trust, and mutual understanding in feedback process. When feedback comes from such intentions, it often triggers defensiveness, resistance, or even aggression, instead of inspiring growth or motivating positive change.

In any communication—especially in a feedback scenario—we bring our personal beliefs, experiences, and privileges. If these influences are used to impose one's own agenda without regard for the needs or perspective of the other person, it disrupts the balance of the relationship. Rather than encouraging open dialogue or collaboration, this creates an environment where the other party may feel disempowered or disconnected. Clear and positive intention in feedback helps avoid these pitfalls, ensuring that the goal is not simply to be heard or validated, but to foster understanding and development. 

how to make your intention clear?

To make your intention clear in feedback, it is essential to express your positive intent openly and directly. Often, people can misinterpret feedback because the tone, body language, or delivery doesn’t align with the intended message. By openly acknowledging that your goal is to help, support, or improve the situation, you ensure that the person receiving the feedback understands that it is coming from a place of care and a desire for collaboration, not from judgment or criticism.

👉 Example: I want to share something that I think could help us work more efficiently together. My goal is to make our collaboration smoother and ensure we are both aligned in how we approach tasks.

👉 Example: I’m sharing this because I value working with you, and I’m here to support you. Please feel free to let me know if there’s anything you think I could do differently to make our teamwork even better.

You can also (if applicable and true) start with some positive reinforcement to sets a constructive tone for the conversation. By recognizing what the person is doing well, you signal that the feedback is coming from a place of respect and appreciation, not criticism.

👉 Example: I really appreciate the effort you’ve put into meeting the project deadline; it shows your true engagement. I’d like to chat about a small adjustment that might make the process even more efficient.

The intention might be also expressed positively by engaging in an open dialogue. This fosters collaboration and ensures that you are interested in finding a mutual solution.

👉 Example: I’ve been thinking about how we can improve communication during the project planning phase. I’d love to hear your thoughts on how we can work together to make sure everything gets aligned more effectively.

To make your intention clear, be honest, transparent, and collaborative. Being upfront about your desire to improve things not just for yourself but for everyone involved encourages the recipient to feel supported rather than criticized.

intention in feedback based on NVC

While talking about intention it is hard not to mention its role in NVC communication that plays a huge role in healthy feedback focused environments. The role of intention in Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is crucial because it serves as the foundation for creating meaningful interactions. Just like in feedback processing, in NVC  - communication is not just about the words we say, but also about the intention behind those words. The primary aim is to foster connection and understanding rather than to persuade, judge, or demand.

The intention behind communication in NVC is to understand and be understood in a way that respects both parties' needs, feelings, and values. By focusing on the intention to connect and collaborate, NVC enables speakers to go beyond defensive exchanges and build trust. When you are clear about your intention to communicate with compassion, you are more likely to foster positive interactions.

👉 Example: Instead of saying, You always interrupt me! —which may communicate judgment or blame—an NVC approach guided by the intention of connection might sound like, When I’m interrupted during our conversation, I feel frustrated and it makes it hard for me to fully express myself. I would like to hear more of your thoughts, and I wonder if we can take turns speaking to support each other.

In the feedback process based on NVC, a primary intention is to truly understand someone’s feelings and needs while expressing your own. The intentions is to give feedback without judgment or rushing to solve the issue, listen to understand.

summary

Transparency in communicating your intention is not just about saying whatever comes to mind. The intention behind honesty is to communicate your feelings, needs, and desires openly, while being respectful of the other person’s perspective. By being authentic, you reduce misunderstanding, ensuring that the feedback remains productive and clear. Feedback is a constructive and cooperative dialogue, the intention ensures that each party’s agency and autonomy are respected. The intention behind feedback should always be to increase mutual understanding and cooperation, not to win, argue, or compete.

By being intentional, we ensure our words and actions align with our deeper goal of creating positive, open relationships. When we clarify our intentions—whether it’s for empathy, understanding, or shared growth—it helps cultivate a space for genuine, healthy dialogue, where mutual needs are considered, and all parties can engage constructively.