You didn’t call me, Charlie?

All of us have something that makes us feel “safe”. I’m not talking about important stuff such as a home, family, good health, and wealth. I’m talking about something that creates your comfort zone. For me — these are TV shows. I love watching them, I hate getting to know new ones. I have a few favorite ones, which I can watch again and again, and again.

Two and a Half Men

One of them is “Two and a Half Men” — did you watch it?

So, for sake of this post, we need to introduce the actors, and the main actor here is IT guy — Charlie, and every recruiter guy/lady is one of the multiple partners Charlie knew

You didn’t call me Charlie

Yeah, why you didn’t call them, Charlie? The answer is: because there are a lot of “options” (yeah folks, I’m going to play with the metaphors around) and there is always something Charlie wouldn’t accept.

Before you read the rest, take a look at my Spotify podcast show (in Polish), where I’m talking things about IT alone and with the guests:

So, why won’t Charlie (developer, tester, designer, you name it) answer your emails/messages/calls? Here you have a few sins you commit:

Templates, algorithms

Did I mention I love TV shows? Another one I’m a big fan of is Big Bang Theory — but I’m not sure which character I want to be the most ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Anyway, do you remember the episode when Sheldon was trying to create an algorithm that will help him to make new friends?

Sheldon isolated the algorithm for making friends

Yeah, most of the messages I’m getting all over the LinkedIn/email, look like they would be generated by one system/website. It’s nothing wrong with work optimization, but, come on.. You can filter the first names at least :). What I’m talking about? If my first name is John, but I’m getting the emails like “hello $John” (because I’m sneaky and I changed my name on LinkedIn), I know for sure, that you’ve sent the bulk mail.

Show me the money

Let’s face it, we are working for money. Of course, there is equally important stuff as a friendly environment, interesting projects, workflow, technologies, etc, but in the end, we are earning money because, eventually, we spend the money. But about the job offers — if the salary is equally important as the rest of the perks and benefits, what is the purpose of hiding the information about it? In most cases, developer will ask you about the salary range. It just keeps the communication longer and more complicated. I realize that you want to acquire contact with the developers, but it’s not the most efficient and elegant way.

Who’s your daddy?

Whaaaat, on the edge, bro. But it’s a quote! For real, just check the Zombie’s song. I love this one! Cruising in the sun, window tilted and “Time of the season”.

Alright, for real, who you are working for, who is your client, who will be my employer? Why you don’t want to give me this info beforehand? I’m a very active developer, I’m talking to people, I’m taking part in the recruitment processes — well, to be in touch with the required tech stack, at least!

So, not only in the case of the local environment — town, city, county, but we can say — in global scope too! — there is a possibility that I was talking to company A before you messaged me. It would be highly inappropriate to be connected to the HR department I was talking to a month earlier.

Know your network

This one is serious — pay attention to getting to know your network. A lot of developers work for multiple companies, multiple companies work for a variety of clients — agencies, factories, but the corporation also! The software house <> corporation is a very specific relation. Corporations are big and have a lot of departments usually, and they have their own IT departments very often!

The problem begins with the agreements between the companies. If you are a recruiter for Corporation and you want to involve developer from Software House (or agency, or any other kind of the company), just make sure, that there is no relation between your client (Corporation) and the company “your” developer is working in. In most cases, the guy will tell you that, most probably, you should not write to him. But there is another chance — he will notify his manager, the manager will speak to the director and at the very end, you will have an unpleasant email, at least.

Hello Mr white, it's at&t calling

Do you know what’s wrong with the calls? They are unexpected. 

Walter white phonecall

Nothing is more pathetic than a guy ducking under the desk just to ask for your phone later, politely. If someone is working on HO, there is no problem — he/she will answer your call, and maybe you will talk a little about the new, interesting position. The problem is whenever you call during the rush hours, your developer is working from the office this day but he IS INTERESTED in your offer. He doesn’t want to lose you, so he is trying his best to keep you for a while on the phone while running outside or hedging with his words just to not let others know that he is talking about the change

If you have the phone number, you have the email for sure. Many recruiters send the calendar and ask to schedule a call with it. Let’s do this the other way around too! Schedule a call with your developer BEFORE you will call.

Memes, memes everywhere

I will answer this one with a meme:

How do you do, fellow kids?

Just. Don’t. Do. It We are talking about the important change, work, and stuff. Spare your memes for your messenger friends (or blogposts ;) )

And here we go, now you know why your developer won’t answer you. If you feel like “oh man, you are overreacting”, you are doing the things I described. Will you stop? I don’t know. Did I tell you that it’s annoying? Yes

Live long and prosper